Lilyana Hinojosa.

Teacher: Mr. Lothspeich, Greeley West High School

Now I know

My relationship with my mom was complicated
I loved her, yet she didn’t love me.
At times I thought I didn’t but now that she is gone
I KNOW I did.

At the moment I saw her
being dragged out of the bathroom
I realized I didn’t want her to leave my side.
That whole two months was a nightmare
To the moment I helped her to the bathroom at 5:00 am
to the moment of her
last breath.
When I saw her in her CASKET I got mad.
She didn’t look like herself-what was the point of giving them a picture
of her when she was alive
She didn’t look the same when she was my mom.

I told myself, every single day, when she comes home...
If she ever dared to tell me that I didn’t love her
I would tell her to stop because I knew I indeed loved her.
I would tell her that she didn’t love me
because what mother leaves her kid all alone
and sits on the toilet all day
and then locks the door
and let’s their kid watch their mom
get carried away.
Leaves their own kid to pick of their
blood and feces
and tells their kid that they do not love them.

But now knowing and hearing our very last conversation was
“I love you . . . I love you more . . . answer me please. I love you mostest . . .”
I wait for response
“Not possible” my mom said to me
Her LAST words to me

Now I truly know that
I loved you and you loved me.